How to split expenses as a couple — without a joint account

Most advice about couples and money starts with “open a joint account.” That works for some people. For many others it’s exactly the thing they want to avoid — not because of secrets, but because autonomy is healthy.

Here’s the system we see work, and that Spendimo is built around.

Pick a ratio, not a rule

A 50/50 split feels fair until incomes differ. The alternative most couples land on:

• 50/50 — simple, works when incomes are close
• By income (naar rato) — each pays proportionally to what they earn
• Per-category — one covers groceries, the other covers rent

Whatever you choose, the ratio matters less than both of you knowing what it is.

Only share what’s actually shared

Dinner together is shared. Your gym membership is not. A system that forces every transaction into the open turns bookkeeping into surveillance — the fastest way to make one partner quit.

Let both people see the same number

Disagreements about money are usually disagreements about memory. When the dinner is recorded once, split 60/40, and both phones show the same €48 and €32, there’s nothing left to argue about.

That’s the entire design of Spendimo’s partner feature: you share a specific expense, your partner approves it, and each of you sees only your own share in your own totals.